First Trimester — Growing Our Baby Girl

This is what pregnancy looks like for me so far... The softest, cuddly, comfy clothing possible. Daily naps. Sitting on the lounge with my shirt lifted up, marvelling at the swelling in my belly. Peeing multiple times a night. Frozen slushies, countless lychees, lemon cordial, driving to the cake shop at 9am because I absolutely need a fresh baked caramel mud cake. Afternoon nausea that feels like motion sickness, headaches, dizziness, low energy, fast heart rate, out of breath just from talking on the phone. Touching my face in the shower thinking "hm, my skin is quite clear, I wonder when my period is due" and then remembering I'm pregnant. Laying in bed and energetically sending love down to her, then smiling to myself when I realise I am literally overflowing with love and it's an infinite source with my soulmate by my side. Utter adoration from him, being welcomed with "hey, baby mumma" and a big embrace when he walks in the door. Melting like butter when he kisses my belly or lays next to it just watching and feeling. Gratitude, for being surrounded by so much love and support, gratitude for a natural pregnancy, gratitude for how easy this all is for us.

I'm writing this as my baby has been growing inside of me for 15 weeks. We are through the first trimester, and I have learnt an incredible amount about myself and becoming a mother in that time.

Welcome Swallows have guided me along so far. About a week before conception, I had two of them fly in my front door, through the lounge room, and into my bedroom where I was, flying around and around in circles. Someone looked up the spiritual meaning of seeing two of these swallows together, and it was a symbol of fertility. I was interested, but thought 'that can't be right' because I was on my period (near the end of it though, mind you). A few weeks later, the week I found out we had created a baby together, those swallows had newborn chicks in their nest just on our back porch. I smiled at the alignment we had together. A week or two later I woke up with a little bit of spotting, and freaked out at seeing blood, though this is quite common in pregnancy. I'll expand more on the emotion of fear later down, but my goodness I was so worried that something may be wrong and immediately put my walls up instead of continuing to soften more and more into my feminine. I went outside to sit and ground myself on the grass, and as soon as I opened my door, I was practically swarmed with about 6 swallows flying all around me and following me (they had never done that before and haven't done it since) and that gave me so much assurance that everything was okay, and baby was healthy (which she was). I've always felt such a beautiful connection to all animals, especially horses and birds, and these were such beautiful Snow White moments of guidance.

Back to the logic of the story instead of the spiritual 😋 So Sam and I found out at about 5 1/2 weeks. My next period was late, and when I checked my calendar, I was actually two weeks late. I texted Mum saying I'm taking a test, and she responded so damn excitedly, that it was pretty much confirmed for me. Mum's always been in tune and connected with me. I fell asleep that night also knowing I was creating life inside of me and feeling quite wondrous.

The two tests the next day were positive, and both Sam and I were quite "holy shit" about it. Happy holy shit. Sam Poli and Caitlin Potts are quite known to rush into things together, drop everything and run toward one another, and anybody who knows us can tell you it's because we're just meant to be and always have been. There's never been any denying the connection when the two of us are in a room together, be it apart at the time and with other people, nothing has ever compared to the love we have always had for one another. So we knew, everything has led to this. Looking at our history over the last 9 years, the growth and lessons we have both learned, now is our time. We both thought we'd be engaged by the end of the year, but our little one wanted to come through first, and we are so accepting and full of love from that gift. So much in life is planned - the proposal, the wedding date, the dresses, but you can't plan when your baby wants to meet his/her parents and join you in this world, and this is the time she chose.

There wasn't a single doubt in either of our minds that this is meant to be and is also what we want. Ever since I was little, I fell in love with the idea of creating a little human that is half you, and half the person you love. God, it still blows me away that it can even happen, creating life with your soulmate. And so I held out for that. My parents divorced when I was 2 and aren't particularly amicable, so I've seen that the person you have a child with, you are practically tied to in one way or another for the rest of your life (and then you share grandkids together!), so I think that's had a lot to do with valuing myself and being truly aligned when it does come to my life partner. I've certainly walked away from previous relationships because I want my little ones to see their parents utterly in love.

So, at the start of my pregnancy, I was pretty overwhelmed. Where the hell do you start?! I booked my doctor appointment for the next day, had my blood tests the day after that, booked my ultrasound dating scan and looked up what I can't eat (brie and camembert cheese?? No more medium rare steaks, sushi, or fresh prawns??). I went shopping, and bought The Baby Bible + Holistic Hypnobirthing, prenatal tablets, and lots of organic fruit and veggies.

The first trimester is tricky, because it's "all meant to be one big secret" which I talk about in my YouTube video. But this is the time where you do need support, when you will be reaching out to mums for guidance and help. There is so much to learn at such a fast pace, there are so many medical appointments and choices and decisions, it's overwhelming af and I'm still not feeling too much clarity in regards to the medical side of things (I'm hoping my next post could help more with this!).

Melissa Ambrosini (yes, I mention her a lot in my blogs and stories!) was one of the first places I went for resources, having recently given birth to her little girl Bambi, and knowing her lifestyle is very holistic and aligned with my own views. She actually has an entire category on her blog relating to pregnancy with weekly YouTube videos (gosh, what a lifesaver). In 2017, she posted a podcast episode titled "How to have an ecstatic childbirth with Dr Sarah Buckley" and I have had it bookmarked in my mind since, ready for these days. Explore her podcast, instagram, blog and YouTube for as much goodness as you can on this journey.

Favourite Instagram Accounts

@thenakeddoula - the style of this account is so engaging and the rawness of the information she shares is like no other. I've saved countless posts here for reference when I get close to birth

@the.kat.oconnor - Kat is no longer active on this account but she has incredible resources in her highlights about her own journey with her little one, all very nature and organic based, and has a free ebook to download too

@belly2birth - I haven't engaged too much with this account, but it's about hypnobirthing with lots of resources, and she has a podcast too

@hypnobirthingaustralia - Another page with tips for birthing, info about doula's and tens machines etc

@birthing_you_ - Amelia was the first doula I came across and the information she shares is invaluable. She is very real and raw and honest and outspoken, and that's what you want for someone to support your birth journey. She is based in Melbourne (😥) but I closely follow her account anyway

@nurtured_by_karley - This is the doula Sam and I chose to support our birth, who is local to the Camden area. She held a pregnancy circle at her home when I was 8 weeks along which I attended, and I loved her warm, mothering, supportive energy so she will now be supporting me in my pregnancy as my doula and attending my homebirth in June!