Life Shift — Leaving the Gold Coast
A personal post on releasing control, recognising growth, and allowing guidance.
It seems the Universe has given me a strong reminder that I am not in control of my destiny, and that we can't always plan out our lives down the exact minute.
In my mind, I had my next few months ahead scheduled:
Keep working at my full time job, grow my bank account
Grow my business 'View To My Soul'
Make the most of my time in the Gold Coast
Celebrate my birthday in September with my favourite people, and then...
Move to Sydney to be with Sam
The move to Sydney has manifested much, much sooner than anticipated. It all happened in the space of 24 hours. Here's how it conspired.
Work: I was contacted about a full-time position a few months ago, on really great pay, so I accepted. My partner and I want to buy a house together, I'm looking at buying a new roadbike this year, and I want to learn new skills such as reiki and NLP that will add value to my skillset for coaching and public events, so the extra pay was very welcome to work towards these goals. That job turned out to be incredible — it was a support role doing easy tasks, a beautiful large office with lots of space and a positive, friendly team. My skills were recognised and utilised too, so I started to get into graphic design, website coding and marketing, all things I'm incredibly passionate about and light me up. I was feeling very fulfilled and valued at the same time.
Home: I've been wanting to move out of my living space for about 6 months now. I put it off, tried to stick it out, thought that working full time would make it be less of a big deal as I wouldn't be in the environment as much, just kept ignoring my need to get out of there. And in hindsight, I wish I had moved out 6 months ago like my soul was asking for, but I was stubborn and ignored it, couldn't be bothered moving, and let it slowly wear me down to the point where I was barely eating. I won't be doing that again, and I will now always honour what I feel I need.
I starting really making an effort to move, gathering documents for lease applications, had a positive employment reference written by my new boss, started applying for houses, attending inspections and messaging people on Flatmates. I ended up choosing a stunning house in Hope Island after inspecting it, meeting the owners/roommates/husband and wife, and having them invite me to stay. To put it short, I got fucked over and the house didn't work out. The why and how aren't important and I'm not holding onto that. Basically I was suddenly left without a home (the base of Maslow's hierarchy of needs - shelter), and I thought I'm just utterly done. The hope of finally deciding to move out of where I was, into a beautiful new home perfect for content creation, focusing on my business, and feeling my whole abundant self again, to then immediatley have it taken from me was devastating and I was at a loss.
But I'm a logical thinker, and upon challenges arising I immediately put emotions aside and think up a solution. I cried, processed the emotions (anger, mistrust, deceit, confusion, disgust) and then started thinking on my feet.
Now, in life we have three important pillars: career, relationship, and home. These are our core guiding points that determine most decisions in life. In this moment, the Gold Coast was only providing one of these pillars from me, and Sydney had two:
As resistant as I was about Sydney, it had 2 of the 3 important aspects. I asked myself what does my heart want, and of course it wanted to be with Sam. So I thought fuck it, I'm releasing control, and I'm letting my heart decide in this moment. I called him and said I'm coming down, he responded "are you sure?" because he knows I love my job, and drove 9 hours north to help me move. I called work the next morning and let them know I had to leave. That broke my heart a little because the company already meant so much to me and I know great things could happen, but I also know that I am supposed to put my energy into View To My Soul, and I am supposed to be with Sam. Everything else will follow, and I had to stop choosing logically and from a place of safety (having a great income from my 9-5).
And so I have gone from living a very free and active life in the heart of the Gold Coast, Surfers Paradise, to now living on 20 acres in the country. This is actually comforting because I grew up with a similar life, on property with horses and lots of animals, riding dirtbikes and having an abundance of space and grounding. My time on the Gold Coast was cut short, but it was meant to be and I certainly made the most of it whilst I was there, to the point of turning down yacht parties and influencer events because there was so many (and it didn't totally feel authentic to who I really am as I prefer to deeply connect with people).
Being out here comes with difficulties... Where I've moved to is a place I used to live, a part of my past that I had very much let go of and didn't ever see myself being a part of again. It's a place I have experienced with another, a relationship I had to spend months healing from. I'm not one to suffer from anxiety, but I certainly feel the effects of anxiousness arise when I go into town and see the cafes I used to go, not wanting to run into anyone who knows me until I personally process being back here. It feels as if I am being called to face what I ran from, like I have the strength to rewrite my history and create new experiences here.
I have returned a whole new person. I know my identity and I am confident in who I have developed into. A woman that is certain of herself, knows her place in the world, her life purpose, and is striving towards that every day. All of this with her soulmate by her side just makes it complete.
And so begins a new chapter for me. I remind myself that I am the creator of my reality, that I have healed significant trauma before and can face any challenge that arises. I can call in like-minded souls here just as I did so easily in Queensland, and I am now removed from the distractions of events and being incredibly social. I had a friend say to me "the universe must be protecting you from something" and "something in Sydney must be calling you so strongly to have pushed you forward so fast" which is a beautiful view on the situation. I also finally get to now truly start the rest of my life with Sam, something we have been dreaming about for months (he probably helped manifested this move by always thinking about coming home to me and living his life with me by his side!). I am sure beautiful things are to come, and it is exciting to have the reasons revealed as to why the Universe has brought me down here much sooner than anticipated.