❤️🔥 Work on your shit before them and then keep working on your shit when you’re with them. The spiritual and personal development journey doesn’t ever end, and you may feel you are “good enough” but it simply isn’t true and you can always do with the advice from authors, leaders and mentors. 1% better every day applies even after you’ve found your person.
❤️🔥 Throw your ego out the window. I can’t express this enough. Do the work to recognise what ego truly is (the Eckhart Toll/spiritual version, not pride like most people know it), then shine a light on it any time it rears its ugly head. Call yourself out when your ego is running the show, encourage your partner to call you out when you haven’t recognised it yet (and vice versa). Be sure to always come from a place of love and awareness when doing this though, and never from a place of fear, blame, or judgement. We’re all trying our best, and learning what our ego is can take some time, adjustment, self awareness and lots of neural rewiring!
❤️🔥 COMMUNICATE. Don’t let even the smallest thing slip by, because then you’re setting the standard that it’s not important enough to bring up. If you talk about even the small things that have affected you, as silly and mundane as they seem, then it will help your partner understand you and together you can make those little changes. You cannot read each others minds and you literally forget that or expect it, so always let the other know what’s going on (even if you were triggered by them not doing the washing up when they said they would, or not being on time for an appointment, there’s usually a deeper reason behind that trigger! This links in with the “work on your shit” point so you can both discuss it together)
❤️🔥 Express your emotions. Being in a relationship should be a safe place where you can feel vulnerable and silly and embarrassed and like an idiot, and know that your person is still going to stay through it all (because they have the opportunity to also be vulnerable). We are humans, having a human experience. And not all human emotions and thoughts are pretty, they can be so god damn ugly! But it’s up to you to share that when it arises (if you’re unable to process it yourself), and work through it with your partner. The importance here is to never suppress how you’re feeling, or when something triggers you. Trust me, it’s much easier to let it out when it comes up than to shove it down and have it come out later (and uglier). This absolutely goes for the positive too, if you’re feeling an overwhelming amount of love and adoration for your partner, or you’re more attracted to them than usual one day, let them know and let them feel special! (Drop that ego, remember? 😉)